MARRIAGE IN ISLAM

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[42:32] And marry the unmarried among you and the righteous among your male slaves and female slaves. If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty, and Allah is all-Encompassing and Knowing.

(24:32) And marry the unmarried among you and the righteous among your male slaves and female slaves. If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty, and Allah is all-Encompassing and Knowing.

Encourage Marriage to Discourage Immorality [24:32] You shall encourage those of you who are single to get married. They may marry the righteous among your male and female servants, if they are poor. GOD will enrich them from His grace. GOD is Bounteous, knower.

[4:4] You shall give the women their due dowries, equitably. If they willingly forfeit anything, then you may accept it; it is rightfully yours.

[30:21] Among His proofs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves, in order to have tranquility and contentment with each other, and He placed in your hearts love and care towards your spouses. In this, there are sufficient proofs for people who think.

[4:25] Those among you who cannot afford to marry free believing women, may marry believing slave women. GOD knows best about your belief, and you are equal to one another, as far as belief is concerned. You shall obtain permission from their guardians before you marry them, and pay them their due dowry equitably. They shall maintain moral behavior, by not committing adultery, or having secret lovers. Once they are freed through marriage, if they .commit adultery, their punishment shall be half of that for the free women.* Marrying a slave shall be a last .resort for those unable to wait. To be patient is better for you. GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful.

Mutual Attraction And Dowry Required

[4:24] Also prohibited are the women who are already married, unless they flee their disbelieving husbands who are at war with you.* These are GOD’s commandments to you. All other categories are permitted for you in marriage, so long as you pay them their due dowries. You shall maintain your morality, by not committing adultery. Thus, whoever you like among them, you shall pay them the dowry decreed for them. You commit no error by mutually agreeing to any adjustments to the dowry. GOD is Omniscient, Most Wise.

(footnote) *4:24 If believing women flee their disbelieving husbands who are at war with the believers, they do not have to obtain a divorce before remarriage. See 60:10.

Do Not Marry Idol Worshipers

[2:221] Do not marry idolatresses unless they believe; a believing woman is better than an idolatress, even if you like her. Nor shall you give your daughters in marriage to idolatrous men, unless they believe. A believing man .is better than an idolater, even if you like him. These invite to Hell, while GOD invites to Paradise and forgiveness, as He wills. He clarifies His revelations for the people, that they may take heed.

Wife beating (abuse ) is predominantly cultural and has no place in Islam

Husband and wife should strive to make one another happy and take into consideration the needs, abilities, and weaknesses of the other. Our beloved Prophet (PBUH) advised the husbands to treat their wives in the best way. This is clear in the following hadith: “The best of you is the best of you to their family and I am the best of you to my family.


In another hadith Holy Prophet (SAW) said: “I entreat you to treat women well for they have been created from a rib and the most crooked part of a rib is the upper part. If you insist on straightening it, you will break it. If you leave it, it will remain crooked. So, I entreat you to treat women well.” (Bukhari)


In Holy Quran, Allah Almighty says: “And of His signs are that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought” (Quran, 30:21). Below we will discuss some basic rights of wives upon her husband or you can say duties of the husband for their wives.
To feed her, spend upon her in a way that Allah Almighty commanded in Holy Quran. In one of hadith Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said: ‘Give charity.’ A man said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, I have a Dinar.’ He said: ‘Spend it on yourself.’ He said: ‘I have another.’ He said: ‘Spend it on your wife.’ He said: ‘I have another.’ He said: ‘Spend it on your son.’ He said: ‘I have another.’ He said: ‘Spend it on your servant.’ He said: ‘I have another.’ He said: ‘You know best (what to do with it).”‘ (Sunan an-Nasa’i)


Give dowry to wife. In Holy Quran Allah (SWT) says about the right of dowry in these words: “And give women their dowries as a gift. Then, if they are pleased to give some of it to you, consume it with good health and enjoyment.”( Quran, 4:4)

“And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in peace and tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who reflect” (Quran 30:21).

“O Humans revere your Guardian Lord, Who created you from a single person created of like nature its mate, and from this scattered (like seeds) countless men and women. Reverence Allah through Whom you claim your mutual rights” (Quran 4:1).

The above verses of the Quran lay out the framework for the basis and objectives of marriage in Islam. In the ultimate Wisdom of Allah we are first told that both partners, man and woman, are created from the same source and that this should be paid attention to as it is one of His Signs.

The fact that we come from the same soul signifies our equality as humans. When the essence of our creation is the same, the argument of who is better or greater is redundant. To stress on this fact, and then to talk about marriage in the same verse, is of great significance for those of us who are in the field of marriage counseling.

A shift in this attitude of gender equality as human beings causes an imbalance in marital relationships leading to dysfunctional marriages. Whenever one party considers that they are superior or above the law there is a power shift which may subsequently lead to misuse or abuse of that power. As a result, the less valuable partner is seen as an easy prey. Many marital difficulties are based on, or caused by, control and rule stratagem.

By stressing on the equality of all humans, men or women, and making it the basis of marriage, Allah, in His Infinite Wisdom, has laid the ground rules for establishing peace. He has assigned different roles to husband and wife as functional strategy, rather than as a question of competence as humans.

Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) has stated that: “men and women are twin halves of each other” (Bukhari). This narration also brings home the fact that men and women are created from a single source. Furthermore, by using the analogy of twin half, the Prophet (pbuh) has underlined the reciprocal and interdependent nature of men and women’s relationships.

The objective of marriage, according to the above Quranic verses, is to enable us to dwell in peace and tranquility. It is important for us to reflect on these words and their significance in the Islamic frame of reference.

In order to have peace certain condition must be met. These prerequisites to peace are Justice, Fairness, Equity, Equality, and fulfillment of mutual rights. Therefore any injustice whether it is oppression, or persecution, cannot be tolerated if there is to be peace in Muslim homes.

In the domestic realm, oppression is manifested when the process of Shura (consultation) is compromised, neglected or ignored. When one partner (in most cases the husband) makes unilateral decisions and applies a dictatorial style of leadership, peace is compromised. Persecution is present when there is any form of domestic abuse being perpetrated.

Tranquility on the other hand is a state of being which is achieved when peace has been established. Tranquility is compromised when there is tension, stress and anger. It is a mistake to take tranquility to mean perpetual state of bliss, since one can never be immune to tragedies and catastrophes. In fact God tells us repeatedly in the Quran that a believer will be tried and tested. However, a state of tranquility empowers one to handle difficult moments with their spouses as obedient servants of God. God, in His infinite Mercy, also provides us with the tools by which we can achieve this state of peace and tranquility.

The second principle on which Islamic family life is based is Rahma, meaning mercy. As mentioned in the above verse, God tells us that it is He that has placed mercy between the hearts of spouses. We are therefore inclined by our very nature to have mercy for each other. Mercy is manifested through compassion, forgiveness, care and humility.

It is obvious that these are all ingredients that make for a successful partnership. Marriage in Islam is above all a partnership based on equality of partners and specification of roles. Lack of mercy in a marriage, or in a family, renders it in Islamic terms dysfunctional.

Allah further states that He has also placed in addition to mercy, love between spouses. It should be noted, however, that the Islamic concept of love is different from the more commonly understood romantic love that has become so valued.

The basic difference is that love between man and woman in the Islamic context can only be realized and expressed in a legal marriage. In order to develop a healthy avenue for the expression of love between a man and woman, and to provide security so that such a loving relationship can flourish, it is necessary to give it the protection of Shariah (Islamic law).

Marital love in Islam inculcates the following:

Holding Hands

Faith: The love Muslim spouses have for each other should be for the sake of Allah and to gain His pleasure. It is from Allah that we claim our mutual rights (Quran 4:1) and it is to Allah that we are accountable for our behavior as husbands and wives.

It sustains: Love is not to consume but to sustain. Allah expresses His love for us by providing sustenance. To love in Islam is to sustain our loved one physically, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually, to the best of our ability. (Note : To sustain materially is the husband’s duty. However, if the wife wishes she can also contribute)

Accepts: To love someone is to accept them for who they are. It is selfishness to try and mould someone as we wish them to be. True love does not attempt to crush individuality or control personal differences, but is magnanimous and secure to accommodate differences.

Challenges: Love challenges us to be all we can, it encourages us to tap into our talents and it takes pride in our achievements. To enable our loved one to realize their potential is the most rewarding experience.

Merciful: Mercy compels us to love and love compels us to have mercy. In the Islamic context the two are synonymous. The attribute Allah chose to be the supreme for Himself is that He is the most Merciful. This attribute of Rahman (the Merciful) is mentioned 170 times in the Quran, emphasizing the significance for believers to be merciful. Mercy, in practical application, means to have and show compassion and to be charitable.

Forgiving: Love is never too proud to seek forgiveness or too stingy to forgive. It is willing to let go of hurt and letdowns. Forgiveness allows us the opportunity to improve and correct ourselves. Islam emphasizes the principle that if we want God to forgive our mistakes, then we should be forgiving of others too.

Respect: To love is to respect and value the person, their contributions, and their opinions. Respect does not allow us to take for granted our loved ones or to ignore their input. How we interact with our spouses reflects whether we respect them or not.

Confidentiality: Trust is the most essential ingredient of love. When trust is betrayed and confidentiality compromised, love loses its soul.

Caring: Love fosters a deep fondness that dictates caring and sharing in all that we do. The needs of our loved ones take precedence over our own.

Kindness: The biography of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) is rich with examples of acts of kindness he showed towards his family and particularly his wives. Even when his patience was tried, he was never unkind in word or deed. To love is to be kind.

Grows: Marital love is not static, for it grows and flourishes with each day of marital life. It requires work and commitment, and is nourished through faith when we are thankful and appreciative of Allah blessings.

Enhances: Love enhances our image and beautifies our world. It provides emotional security and physical well being.

Selflessness: Love gives unconditionally and protects dutifully.

Truthful: Love is honesty without cruelty and loyalty without compromise.

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General Islamic Marriage Guidelines
Primary Requirements

  1. Mutual agreement (Ijab wa Qabul) by the bride and the groom
  2. Two adult and sensible witnesses
  3. Mahr (marriage-gift) to be paid by the groom to the bride either immediately (muajjal) or
    deferred (muakhkhar), or a combination of both
    Secondary Requirements
  4. Legal guardian (wakeel) representing the bride. If the bride represents herself then a
    wakeel is no longer required.
  5. Written marriage contract (“Aqd-Nikah”) signed by the bride and the groom and
    witnessed by two Muslim, adult and sane witnesses.
  6. Qadi (State appointed Muslim judge).
  7. Khutba-tun-Nikah to solemnize the marriage.
    Mahr
    The marriage-gift (Mahr) is a divine injunction. The giving of mahr to the bride by the groom is
    an essential part of the contract.
    ‘And give the women (on marriage) their mahr as a (nikah) free gift’ (Quran 4:4)
    Mahr is a token commitment of the husband’s responsibility and may be paid in cash, property or
    movable objects to the bride herself. The amount of mahr is not legally specified, however,
    moderation according to the existing social norm is recommended. The mahr may be paid
    immediately to the bride at the time of marriage, or deferred to a later date, or a combination of
    both. The deferred mahr however, falls due in case of death or divorce.
    One matrimonial party expresses ‘ijab’ willing consent to enter into marriage and the other party
    expresses ‘qubul’ acceptance of the responsibility in the assembly of marriage ceremony. The
    contract is written and signed by the bride and the groom and their two respective witnesses.
    This written marriage contract (‘Aqd-Nikah) is then announced publicly.
    Sermon
    The assembly of nikah is addressed with a marriage sermon (khutba-tun-nikah) by the Muslim
    officiating the marriage. In marriage societies, normally, a state appointed Muslim judge, (Qadi)
    officiates the nikah ceremony and keeps the record of the marriage contract. However any trust
    worthy practicing Muslim can conduct the nikah ceremony, as Islam does not advocate
    priesthood. The documents of marriage contract/certificate are filed with the mosque and local
    government for record.
    Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) made it his tradition (sunnah) to have marriage sermon delivered in
    the assembly to solemnize the marriage. The sermon invites the bride and the groom, as well as
    General Islamic Marriage Guidelines
    the participating guests in the assembly to a life of faithfulness, mutual love, kindness, and social
    responsibility.
    The Khutbah-tun-Nikah begins with the praise of Allah. His help and guidance is sought. The
    Muslim testimony of faith that ‘There is none worthy of worship except Allah and Muhammad is
    His servant and messenger” is declared. The three Quranic verses (Quran 4:1, 3:102, 33:70-71)
    and one Prophetic saying (hadith) form the main text of the marriage. This hadith is:
    ‘By Allah! Among all of you I am the most God-fearing, and among you all, I am the super most
    to save myself from the wrath of Allah, yet my state is that I observe prayer and sleep too. I
    observe fast and suspend observing them; I marry woman also. And he who turns away from my
    Sunnah has no relation with me”. (Bukhari)
    The Muslim officiating the marriage ceremony concludes the ceremony with prayer (Dua) for
    bride, groom, their respective families, the local Muslim community, and the Muslim community
    at large (Ummah).
    Marriage (nikah) is considered as an act of worship (ibadah). It is good to conduct it in a Mosque
    keeping the ceremony simple. The marriage ceremony is a social as well as a religious activity.
    Islam advocates simplicity in ceremonies and celebrations.
    Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) considered simple weddings the best weddings:
    ‘The best wedding is that upon which the least trouble and expense is bestowed”. (Mishkat)
    The Marriage Banquet (Walima)
    After the ceremony of the marriage (usually next day), the groom holds a banquet called a
    walima. The relatives, neighbors, and friends are invited in order to make them aware of the
    marriage. Both rich and poor of the family and community are invited to the marriage feasts.
    Prophet Muhammad (S) said:
    ‘The worst of the feasts are those marriage feasts to which the rich are invited and the poor are
    left out”. (Mishkat)
    It is recommended that Muslims attend marriage ceremonies and marriage feasts upon invitation.
    Prophet Muhammad (S) said:
    “…and he, who refuses to accept an invitation to a marriage feast, verily disobeys Allah and His
    Prophet”. (Ahmad & Abu Dawood)

Communication and patience is very important in a marriage, be it monogamy or polygyny

Very important to marry as early as possible. All things, be it school or working are possible with marriage, and not to be a hindarance to complete this sunnah